You know I'm letting go tonight

The Unavoidable Crash and the Clarity That Follows

​We've all been there

Floating on cloud nine, completely lost in a beautiful dream. You think you've figured it all out, that you're in a perfect world where the stars are aligned just for you. But what happens when that dream shatters?

​The fall is jarring. One minute you're soaring, and the next you're on the cold, hard concrete. The pain of that crash, the gravity hurt, is the brutal truth that what you thought was real was just a sweet illusion. Your perfect world crumbles, and the story you were so sure of comes to an end. It's in that moment you finally see that everything isn't always what it seems.

​But the fall isn't just about pain, it’s about awakening. The moment you hit the ground is the moment you stop falling. You're no longer in the dark or living a lie. You can pick up the pieces, not to rebuild the same fragile fantasy, but to stand on your own two feet, stronger and with a clear vision.

​This is a rebirth. You've come out of the lion's den, no longer needing to pretend. You realize you don't need anything to complete yourself because you're already whole. The story may be over, but you’re no longer blind. You're finally wide awake, and that's the most powerful place to be.

​Have you ever had a moment of clarity that came after a difficult experience?

yeah, I'm letting you go, I'm falling from cloud nine

did you know...

22nd October 2025

​When Taking a Step Back is the Only Way Forward

​I recently found myself in a place of deep pain, dealing with flashbacks from past trauma I thought I had left behind. In a long-distance relationship, I knew I needed to take some time to focus on healing. It was something I had to do for myself, to find peace and process some very difficult memories.

​I sent a message explaining my situation, hoping for understanding and support. I was honest and vulnerable, making it clear that my need for space wasn't a reflection of my feelings for the person I was with.

​The response I received was not what I had hoped for. It was a reply full of confusion and accusations, questioning my motives and twisting my need for self-care into a statement about our relationship. This was just the beginning.

​Unmasking the Red Flags

​My partner’s reaction became a painful lesson in what a healthy relationship truly isn’t. I started to see a clear pattern of controlling and manipulative behavior. In the past, I had been told who I could and couldn't be friends with and was criticized for my personal interests. My faith, something that brings me great comfort, was called a "fairytale." When I was at my lowest, struggling with a mental health episode, I was met with a total lack of empathy.

​As I began to pull away for my own well-being, the manipulation escalated. I saw a side of this person I hadn’t before - comments that revealed a disturbing fascination with violence and threats against others. It became clear that this was no longer just about a lack of support; it was about my safety.

​My Healing Is My Top Priority

​In our final communication, this person made one last attempt to make me feel responsible for everything. I was accused of playing games and using them like a toy. While the words were deeply hurtful, they were also a gift. They were the final, definitive proof that I was doing the right thing. Their desperate attempt to blame me solidified my decision. I needed to move on, not just for my mental health, but for my safety.

​His final message was a cold and hurtful "good luck," with a demand that I not contact him again. And while that felt like a punch, I now see it as a blessing. It made my choice for me. There's no more ambiguity. The choice has been made, and the path forward is clear.

​Taking a step back has shown me that the space I needed was not just for healing from my past, but for protecting my future. My journey to find peace and security has just begun, and the most important lesson I’ve learned is that I am the only one who can ensure my safety and healing.

​A Prayer for Healing

​Heavenly Father,

​I come to you with a heart that is hurting but also on a path to healing. Thank you for giving me the strength to see the truth and the courage to choose my own well-being.

​Help me to release the pain and the anger from my past. Guide my steps as I continue to heal and rebuild my life. Protect me and grant me the peace I have been searching for. Help me to find clarity and purpose in this new chapter.

​I trust in Your plan for my life and I know that You are with me.

In Jesus's name 

Amen.

🙏🫂🕊✝️

A Prayer for Light and Truth

Merciful God,

​I pray for someone special, that you would build a wall of protection around him from anything that causes him fear, bitterness, or despair. Guard his mind and heart from any negativity or past pain that holds him captive.

​I ask for a moment of spiritual awakening for him

A whisper of Your presence that cuts through the noise and doubt he carries. May he feel the power of the prayers being lifted for him, not as a challenge, but as a current of genuine love.

​Send Your Holy Light to show him that the most amazing journey is the one taken with You. Give him the grace to see the truth of the Gospel, to understand the cross not as a burden, but as the ultimate act of love and salvation.

​Give me the peace and patience to continue praying without expectation, trusting Your perfect will and Your love for him.

In Jesus's name 

​Amen.

🙏🫂🕊✝️

Missing the Connection, Not the Conflict

The Heart Still Holds On

​There is a strange and heavy space that opens up when a significant relationship ends, even when you know it should end. You can acknowledge the hurt, recognize the conflict, and understand intellectually that the boundary is necessary, but the heart still holds on to the loss of the connection.

​I’ve been learning that the feeling of missing someone isn't a betrayal of my own well-being. It’s a natural, human response to the loss of a shared history and the future I had hoped for. The mind can accept the breakup, but the heart continues to grieve the gap that's left behind.

​Processing the Pain

​My spiritual beliefs tell me that hope and prayer are powerful. I can—and do—hold a deep, spiritual wish for his peace and well-being. But that doesn't magically erase the pain of the personal distance. I've realized I need to be gentle with myself in this process. I'm dealing not just with a breakup, but with the ending of a complex situation where there was both love and significant conflict.

​Shifting the Focus

​To move forward, I’m trying to acknowledge the missing, but then intentionally shift my focus back to what is positive and life-giving.

​I've found comfort and distraction in creating new connections, like writing to pen pals.

​I’m deepening my focus on my faith, spending time in prayer, and focusing on the path I know is right for me.

​If you are going through a similar season of loss, remember this: You can miss the good parts of a relationship while still refusing to accept the bad. Acknowledge your feelings, be kind to your grieving heart, and then lean into the things that nourish your soul. The work of healing is worth it.

Here is a S.O.A.P. analysis of 2 Corinthians 5:7

S: Scripture

​For we walk by faith, not by sight

​O: Observation

​This single-verse parenthetical statement (in the KJV) is one of the most powerful summaries of the Christian life.

​"We walk" is a metaphor for the way we conduct our daily lives. It signifies the ongoing journey and entire lifestyle, not just a one-time event.

​The phrase sets up a clear contrast between two opposing ways of living: faith versus sight.

​"By faith" means relying on unseen realities

God, His promises, and the eternal world—as the primary basis for our decisions and outlook.

​"Not by sight" means we do not let our decisions be primarily governed by what is visible, tangible, or immediately evident in the physical world, including current circumstances, feelings, or human logic.

​Context: This verse provides the reason for the confidence Paul expresses in the surrounding verses (2 Cor. 5:6-8), where he discusses the tension of living in a temporary earthly body while anticipating an eternal home with the Lord. It explains how a believer can be confident while facing hardship and being "absent from the Lord" in the physical sense.

​A: Application

​The core challenge of this verse is to shift my perspective from the temporary and visible to the eternal and unseen.

​Daily Reliance: I need to look for areas where I am letting fear or material circumstances (sight) dictate my actions (e.g., worry about finances, anxiety over future events, or seeking immediate comfort). I should choose instead to rely on God’s promises (faith), like His provision, peace, and ultimate control.

​Decision-Making: When making a significant choice (e.g., a career change, a difficult conversation, an act of obedience), I must ask: Am I making this choice based on what looks easiest, most secure, or most profitable now (sight), or am I making it based on what honors God and aligns with His eternal purpose, regardless of the immediate cost (faith)?

​Endurance in Hardship: When I face a struggle—a trial, illness, or setback—I must use this verse as a reminder that the pain I see is temporary, but the hope of being "at home with the Lord" is eternal and certain. This should fuel perseverance and a courageous attitude.

​P: Prayer

​"Heavenly Father, thank You for the truth in Your Word that my life is meant to be a walk of faith, not a reaction to my circumstances. I confess that too often I live by what I see—by fear, by doubt, and by the pressure of the visible world. Please forgive me for that short-sightedness. Fill me with the Holy Spirit today so that my eyes of faith may be opened to the unseen reality of Your promises. Grant me the courage to make decisions based on Your truth and Your eternal kingdom, even when it makes no sense to the world around me. Help me to remember that my ultimate goal is to be present with the Lord and to live a life that pleases You now."

7th October 2025

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before You today, grateful for Your love and mercy. Bless our time together, fill us with Your Spirit, and guide us in Your truth. May Your Word bring us comfort, strength, and wisdom.

Lord, we pray for those in need, the sick, the hurting, and the lost. Extend Your loving hand and bring them peace.

May we reflect Your love to others and share Your grace with everyone we meet.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

שלום

🙏🫂🕊✝️

​A Prayer for Peace and Rest

​Heavenly Father,

​It is the deep night, and though my body is tired, my mind will not rest. My thoughts are racing with worries about my health, my body's pain, and the hard conversations I've had. I feel weary and vulnerable.

​I ask for Your grace and peace to settle over me now. Quiet the noise and the anxiety in my mind.

​Remind me, Lord, that You are in control, and I can entrust all my heavy burdens—my spiritual struggles, my fear of new medications, and my physical pains—to Your care.

​Please fill this space with Your presence. Grant my spirit stillness, my body comfort, and my mind the deep, restorative rest it desperately needs.

​In your loving and faithful name I pray,

​Amen.

שלום

🙏🫂🕊✝️