The Heart Still Holds On
There is a strange and heavy space that opens up when a significant relationship ends, even when you know it should end. You can acknowledge the hurt, recognize the conflict, and understand intellectually that the boundary is necessary, but the heart still holds on to the loss of the connection.
I’ve been learning that the feeling of missing someone isn't a betrayal of my own well-being. It’s a natural, human response to the loss of a shared history and the future I had hoped for. The mind can accept the breakup, but the heart continues to grieve the gap that's left behind.
Processing the Pain
My spiritual beliefs tell me that hope and prayer are powerful. I can—and do—hold a deep, spiritual wish for his peace and well-being. But that doesn't magically erase the pain of the personal distance. I've realized I need to be gentle with myself in this process. I'm dealing not just with a breakup, but with the ending of a complex situation where there was both love and significant conflict.
Shifting the Focus
To move forward, I’m trying to acknowledge the missing, but then intentionally shift my focus back to what is positive and life-giving.
I've found comfort and distraction in creating new connections, like writing to pen pals.
I’m deepening my focus on my faith, spending time in prayer, and focusing on the path I know is right for me.
If you are going through a similar season of loss, remember this: You can miss the good parts of a relationship while still refusing to accept the bad. Acknowledge your feelings, be kind to your grieving heart, and then lean into the things that nourish your soul. The work of healing is worth it.
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