When Taking a Step Back is the Only Way Forward
I recently found myself in a place of deep pain, dealing with flashbacks from past trauma I thought I had left behind. In a long-distance relationship, I knew I needed to take some time to focus on healing. It was something I had to do for myself, to find peace and process some very difficult memories.
I sent a message explaining my situation, hoping for understanding and support. I was honest and vulnerable, making it clear that my need for space wasn't a reflection of my feelings for the person I was with.
The response I received was not what I had hoped for. It was a reply full of confusion and accusations, questioning my motives and twisting my need for self-care into a statement about our relationship. This was just the beginning.
Unmasking the Red Flags
My partner’s reaction became a painful lesson in what a healthy relationship truly isn’t. I started to see a clear pattern of controlling and manipulative behavior. In the past, I had been told who I could and couldn't be friends with and was criticized for my personal interests. My faith, something that brings me great comfort, was called a "fairytale." When I was at my lowest, struggling with a mental health episode, I was met with a total lack of empathy.
As I began to pull away for my own well-being, the manipulation escalated. I saw a side of this person I hadn’t before - comments that revealed a disturbing fascination with violence and threats against others. It became clear that this was no longer just about a lack of support; it was about my safety.
My Healing Is My Top Priority
In our final communication, this person made one last attempt to make me feel responsible for everything. I was accused of playing games and using them like a toy. While the words were deeply hurtful, they were also a gift. They were the final, definitive proof that I was doing the right thing. Their desperate attempt to blame me solidified my decision. I needed to move on, not just for my mental health, but for my safety.
His final message was a cold and hurtful "good luck," with a demand that I not contact him again. And while that felt like a punch, I now see it as a blessing. It made my choice for me. There's no more ambiguity. The choice has been made, and the path forward is clear.
Taking a step back has shown me that the space I needed was not just for healing from my past, but for protecting my future. My journey to find peace and security has just begun, and the most important lesson I’ve learned is that I am the only one who can ensure my safety and healing.
A Prayer for Healing
Heavenly Father,
I come to you with a heart that is hurting but also on a path to healing. Thank you for giving me the strength to see the truth and the courage to choose my own well-being.
Help me to release the pain and the anger from my past. Guide my steps as I continue to heal and rebuild my life. Protect me and grant me the peace I have been searching for. Help me to find clarity and purpose in this new chapter.
I trust in Your plan for my life and I know that You are with me.
In Jesus's name
Amen.
ππ«π✝️
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