prayer for a fresh sense of hope

Holy Father, I ask for Your divine comfort to touch me now. Please send relief from this oppressive heat, and let Your peace settle over my mind and spirit. Calm the anxieties within me, and grant me strength to navigate these challenges.

Help me to remember Your unwavering presence, even when things feel overwhelming. Guide my steps, sweeten my thoughts, and fill me with patience and resilience.

I trust in Your loving plan, and I pray for renewal and a fresh sense of hope. May Your grace shine upon me, and remind me that I am always held in Your care.

Amen.

I hope this brings you the comfort and connection you seek, Shalom 

🙏🫂🕊✝️

Here is a prayer for a restful sleep and an early, refreshed awakening....

Holy father 

As I lay down to rest, I ask for your peace to settle over me. Grant me a deep and restorative sleep, free from worry or discomfort, so my body and mind may be fully refreshed.

I pray that You awaken me early and with renewed energy tomorrow, ready to embrace the day and attend to all that needs doing. Guide me in Your wisdom and bless my efforts.

Thank You for Your constant care and presence.

Amen.

I truly hope you get the rest you need and wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day ahead. 

Sleep well

Shalom 

🙏🫂🕊✝️

May you feel that renewed spark of motivation, Shalom 🙏🫂🕊✝️

Heavenly Father,

I come before You feeling a lack of drive and inspiration. My spirit feels heavy, and the energy to move forward seems distant. I ask for a fresh infilling of Your spirit, to awaken motivation within me.

Please rekindle my passion and purpose. Help me to see the value in the tasks before me, no matter how small or daunting they may seem. Remove any procrastination, apathy, or mental fog that is hindering my progress.

Grant me the clear vision to know where to begin and the steady resolve to continue. Infuse me with the zeal to pursue what is good for me, what brings You glory, and what moves my life forward in positive ways.

Empower me to overcome inertia, to step out in faith, and to act with renewed energy and focus. Thank You for Your endless grace and for being my constant source of strength.

Amen.

May you feel that renewed spark of motivation, Shalom 🙏🫂🕊✝️

prayer

Heavenly Father,

I come before You in this moment of weariness and heavy heart. You see my struggle with depression, the exhaustion from sleepless nights, and the way the rotten behavior of others weighs so heavily on my mind. My spirit longs for rest and release from these burdens.

I pray for Your light to penetrate the darkness I feel. Lift this veil of sadness and fill me with Your hope and peace. Quiet the anxious thoughts and the replays of past hurts that steal my rest. Grant me the deep, restorative sleep I so desperately need, allowing my body and mind to truly recover.

Heal the places within me that have been wounded by disrespect and manipulation, especially the echoes of past pain. Help me to let go of what I cannot control and to cast all my cares upon You, for You truly care for me.

Surround me with Your comforting presence, reminding me that I am loved, valued, and safe in Your care. Strengthen my spirit and renew my resilience.

May Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard my heart and my mind, both now and as I lay down to rest.

Amen.

May you find comfort and peace,

Shalom 

🙏 🫂 🕊 ✝️ 

you would not appreciate this

I know my darkness. It’s a part of me I’ve faced, walked with, and learned from. And I’m not ashamed of it. I won’t pretend to be all light just to make others comfortable. Because the truth is... without the dark, I wouldn’t have found my light. 

The times I’ve been broken, lost, angry, or numb... those weren’t failures. They were initiations. They taught me how to hold more compassion, how to see others with softer eyes, and how to stand in my truth without flinching.

We’ve all been through things. We all carry shadows. But pretending they don’t exist only gives them more power. When you own your story, when you stop hiding the parts of you that were shaped by pain...you become untouchable. Not because you're perfect... but because you're whole. And there’s nothing more powerful than someone who’s no longer afraid of their own depth.

FREE WILL: GOD’S GIFT OF CHOICE

FREE WILL: GOD’S GIFT OF CHOICE

Visual message: Free will isn’t about independence from God—it’s about the freedom to choose Him.

________

✝️ Deuteronomy 30:19 “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live.”

What exactly is free will?

Simply put, free will is the incredible gift God has given you to make your own choices. It means you’re not forced into a certain path or programmed to live a particular way. God lets you decide for yourself—right or wrong, truth or lies, love or hatred, obedience or rebellion.

Why would God give us this freedom? Because without freedom, there can be no authentic love.

Think about this: would it feel meaningful if someone was forced to love you? Not really. God wants more than forced obedience—He wants genuine relationship. Real relationships require real choices.

God could’ve made us automatically love and obey Him. Instead, He chose something riskier: He let us choose. He knew we’d make mistakes. He knew we’d often choose wrongly. Yet He still gave us this powerful ability because love freely given is infinitely more valuable than obedience forced.

Every day we face countless decisions that shape our lives. What we believe, who we follow, how we respond to challenges—all these reflect the gift of free will. It’s the power that makes your life uniquely yours, and it’s also what allows you to freely choose to know and love your Creator.

Of course, freedom comes with responsibility. We experience pain and regret when we choose poorly. But even then, God’s grace allows us to turn around and choose again—to choose forgiveness, restoration, and a new beginning.

The Bible illustrates this choice from the very beginning: Adam and Eve faced the decision to obey or rebel. They chose rebellion, but God responded with mercy and a promise of redemption. Your story has that same grace. Every wrong turn can lead you back into the arms of a God who loves you deeply and unconditionally.

Ultimately, free will isn’t just about your independence. It’s about your ability to freely accept God’s incredible love, to walk in His ways, and to find joy in choosing Him daily.

Your choices matter—because you matter to Him.

🟦 Takeaway: God didn’t create you as a puppet or prisoner. He created you as His beloved child, free to choose Him. Your freedom isn’t a burden; it’s a blessing. Use it well.

🟦 Thought-provoking question: If every choice shapes who you become, are your decisions bringing you closer to God’s best—or pulling you further away?

I've seen you

I hate this void between us 

The distance is so apprant now

Were we ever going to be closer than we were

Why can't you be the man I know you are capable of being 

I have to let go

I'm getting there

And one day I will completely let go 

Let it fly

Off into the distance

Because I can't be part of your journey anymore 

If you want to get better you have to do it for you

I pray you will do it

You are more than capable of being a good person 

I've seen you

....

I'm tired

Can barely keep my eyes open 

Wish you were here to kiss them closed then you pull me close so I can rest in your arms

How can this be true 

I always believed in us

Just you and me 

Just us two 

We were team mates, remember 

Please say it ain't so

Wake me up from this nightmare 

And tell me you love me

You want to build a life with me

And no matter what we will be together 

Because we are team mates 

Just you and me 

Just us two 

Always and forever 

♥️🫂😚🐝🌻

5 manipulation tactics

Here are 5 manipulation tactics narcissistic men use to dominate and dismantle strong women: 

⸻

1. Love Bombing to Disarm and Hook You

He’ll come in fast—soulmate talk, grand gestures, future plans in the first few days. He’ll mirror your values, your dreams, your words. You’ll think you’ve finally found your person. That’s the trap.

Once you’re emotionally invested, the shift begins. The compliments fade. The control creeps in.

He didn’t fall in love with you. He studied you to own you.

He’s not Prince Charming. He’s a predator in disguise.

⸻

2. Gaslighting to Twist Your Reality

You’ll start to question yourself. Not because you’re weak, but because he makes you feel insane. He’ll deny things he said—mock your emotions—accuse you of being “too sensitive.”

You’ll find yourself defending things you know happened. That’s the goal. To make you doubt your instincts so he can control the narrative.

This isn’t love—it’s psychological warfare.

⸻

3. Triangulation to Keep You Competing

Whether it’s an ex, a “friend,” or some new woman he’s texting—he’ll make sure you feel second-best. It’s all part of the game.

He wants to see you jealous, insecure, desperate to win his attention.

But don’t take the bait. It’s not about her. It’s about control.

He wants you obsessed while he stays untouchable.

⸻

4. Playing the Victim to Flip the Script

When you finally call him out, he’ll fall apart.

He’ll cry. Blame his past. Claim you triggered him. He’ll turn himself into the wounded little boy and cast you as the abusive one.

This tactic is deadly—it keeps you feeling sorry for him, even as he’s tearing you down.

He’s not healing. He’s manipulating your empathy.

⸻

5. Blame Shifting to Keep You Off Balance

Nothing is ever his fault.

He’ll betray you, lie to you, scream at you—but when you speak up? Somehow, you’re the problem.

He’ll accuse you of being “crazy,” “controlling,” “disrespectful.”

He needs you confused so he never has to look in the mirror.

The goal is to silence you. Don’t let him.

⸻

The Bottom Line:

A narcissistic man doesn’t just want a relationship—he wants ownership. He’ll love bomb to lure you, gaslight to control you, triangulate to destabilize you, play the victim to trap you, and blame shift to avoid all accountability.

This is not love. It’s emotional abuse dressed in charm and scripture.

I lived it. I lost myself in it. But I found my way out.

And now I speak for every woman still caught in the cycle.

You are not crazy. You are being conditioned.

Stay alert. Reclaim your voice. And when the fog lifts—run.

Because peace, joy, and freedom are waiting on the other side.

By: Marilyn Rojas

choose your own peace

Narcissistic people are natural takers.

They will take your money, your time, your energy, your life. They’ll rob you of your peace, your confidence, and your sense of reality. And along the way, they’ll poison your relationships with family and friends—isolating you until you feel like they’re all you have left.

Narcissists don’t just stumble into the lives of Empaths by chance. They seek us out. Why? Because we are natural givers. We lead with compassion, always wanting to help, to heal, to understand. We see the good in people, even when it’s buried under layers of damage and manipulation. That’s what makes us their perfect target.

They will take everything from an Empath—and they’ll do it without flinching. Without remorse. Without guilt. They’ll drain your emotional reserves until there’s nothing left. And just when you think they’ll stop—when you believe they might finally see the damage—they’ll take even more.

They love the attention, the devotion, the emotional labor. They’ll gaslight you when you try to speak up. They’ll twist your words, deny your reality, and make you feel like the problem. The more you give, the more they expect. The more you forgive, the more they take.

This is the narcissist’s cycle: charm, manipulate, discard, repeat. And if you let them, they will pull you into that cycle for years—until you no longer recognize yourself.

But hear this: your empathy is not a flaw. Your heart is not the problem. What is a problem is allowing someone to abuse your kindness as a weakness.

You are allowed to draw a line. You are allowed to say, “Enough.”

Protect your spirit. Protect your peace. Because once a narcissist sees what you offer, they won’t stop until they’ve taken it all.

Reclaim your power. Walk away if you must. Choose yourself—every time.

11th June 2025

I really let my guard down with you 

I longed to fall asleep safe in your arms

This all or nothing is really tough

No more us

Never going to be the same

I need you here 

But you need to go on your own path

I pray you heal from everything in your past

It's not fair and it's not right for you to keep carrying it please let it all go

We both need to heal and move forwards separately 

I don't like it but it's the reality we must face

Please be ok and please try to heal from your painful past 

Always and forever your girl 

🙏🫂🕊✝️

healing from the abuse

Narcissists thrive on control, and one of their most powerful tools is your reaction. When you respond—whether with anger, confusion, or guilt—they use it as a distraction. Your emotions become their shield, deflecting accountability and silencing any responsibility for their harmful behaviour. This is no accident; it’s a carefully honed strategy to avoid facing the consequences of their actions.

By provoking you, narcissists keep the focus off themselves and on your responses. Every outburst or defensive reply feeds their need for power, reinforcing their control over the situation. They rarely apologise or admit fault because doing so would mean acknowledging their wrongdoing—a vulnerability they refuse to show.

Understanding this dynamic is crucial. The more you detach from the emotional bait, the less fuel they have to manipulate you. Silence or calm responses disarm their tactics and prevent them from twisting your feelings to justify their actions.

Healing from narcissistic abuse means recognising this cycle and reclaiming your emotional power. You don’t owe them an explanation or a reaction. Your peace is more important than their games.

flashback

Ugh I keep getting flashbacks and remembering things.... here is something he suggested it would be best for me to consider going on the pill because he didn't want to get me pregnant if he was going to consider taking a break from using a condom as it ruins sex for him because he wants to feel everything was this another red flag and way to control our sex life to have it the way he wanted it also he said me going on the pill would mean I can't trap him by getting pregnant....

😑

Thank you for sharing this memory. It's a very significant one, and your instincts are absolutely correct: this was a huge red flag and a clear way for him to control your sex life and manipulate you.

Let's break down why this is so concerning:

"Ruin Sex for Him" / "Wants to Feel Everything": This statement immediately puts his pleasure and preferences above your safety, autonomy, and comfort. Sex in a healthy relationship is about mutual pleasure and consent, not just one person's desires. By framing it as "ruining" sex for him, he's attempting to guilt-trip you into accommodating his wishes.

Pressure to Go on the Pill for His Convenience: Pressuring a partner to go on hormonal birth control solely for the other person's comfort or to avoid a condom is a common manipulative tactic. It places the entire burden of contraception and potential health risks (associated with the pill) squarely on you, while he reaps the perceived benefit of "feeling everything."

"Trap Him by Getting Pregnant": This phrase is perhaps the most alarming and revealing. It demonstrates:

Profound Mistrust and Paranoia: He views you as someone who would intentionally "trap" him, which is deeply disrespectful and dehumanizing. This level of suspicion is a hallmark of controlling and narcissistic personalities.

Lack of Respect for Your Bodily Autonomy: It implies that your body and your reproductive choices are something he needs to control or protect himself from, rather than something you have agency over.

Selfishness and Fear of Responsibility: His primary concern is avoiding perceived consequences for himself, not shared responsibility or the potential joy of family, as noted before. It reiterates his previous comment about not wanting to still be taking care of children as he gets older.

Control Over Your Sex Life: By pushing for you to take the pill and eliminating condoms, he was attempting to dictate the terms of your intimacy entirely on his terms. This removes your ability to set boundaries around safer sex practices or choose methods that you feel comfortable with.

Lack of Consideration for Your Well-being: He shows no concern for the health implications or side effects of the pill for you. His focus is entirely on his experience and his avoidance of responsibility.

In summary, this memory absolutely confirms what you've been realizing about him. It's a classic example of coercive control and sexual manipulation. He was using intimacy as another avenue to exert dominance, prioritize his own selfish desires, and avoid accountability, all while framing it in a way that likely made you feel obligated or guilty.

It's understandable that this memory is resurfacing and causing distress. It's another piece of evidence reinforcing that his behavior was not about love or mutual respect, but about control and self-interest.

3 am thoughts....

So tempted to message you right now....

Ask you all the questions I have 

I'm on social media finding others situations I can relate to 💯 

As you was the same you basically didn't want me to be friends with anyone male or female you wanted to isolate me 

That's not love 

That's not trust 

That's control and possibly projection 

Seriously no idea why you think it's ok to carry yourself this way it's poison.

Waiting for these words to break through

I truly feel that you will always be in my heart.

This is a profound and incredibly honest feeling, I had such a deep, significant connection with you, even if that connection ultimately caused pain.

You have been such a huge part of my life, there were moments of deep connection (even amidst the chaos), you left a massive imprint. The strong feeling that you will always be in my heart doesn't necessarily mean I wish to return to the unhealthy dynamics of our relationship, or that I am not moving forward with my healing.

It means that the experience of our relationship, the feelings I had, the lessons I learned (both good and painful), become a part of my personal history. It's about integrating the past into who I am, rather than erasing it. I can and will carry the impact of you in my heart without needing to carry you back into my life.

It's okay to feel this way. It's a testament to the depth of my capacity for connection. I acknowledge this feeling without judgment, and remember that my journey forward is about building a life where my heart is filled with peace, safety, and healthy connections that truly nurture me.

IF....

IF

If I messaged you asked you all the questions I wanted answers to would you answer them truthfully 

If I did give into the strong temptation and messaged you would you even acknowledge the message anyway 

If you did acknowledge the message how would you respond would you place all the blame upon me and tell me it's too late for answers 

I feel like you have already moved on

I don't think you were ever with me

To you I am nothing 

To you I am no one

letting go....

Oh how I wish you were here holding me

Kissing me

Making me feel very much wanted and loved

I wish this was some mad five minutes and we were actually living the dream of being together 

Always and forever 

Just us two

Me and you

I know we could have been great

If only things were different 

And that didn't happen 

Some part of me is really finding it hard to let go

One day I will have to eventually let go

I can feel myself getting closer to it

Every step is another step away from you and everything I thought we were

Everything we dreamed of

Everything we talked about 

I'm letting you go

I'm falling from cloud nine

unsent messages....

Come take me away from this unhappy space without you 

Take me by the hand and tell me none of it was real and we are getting married next week on the beach our feet in the sand holding hands forever making that commitment to love, cherish and obey each other because we are team mates, remember 

I miss you 

I wish this had ended very differently 

I didn't want this

This wasn't the dream

We could have 

We were supposed to

You gave me hope 

How could you be untrue 

And not be a man of your word

Life with a NARCISSIST feels like a PRISON, not a relationship!!

You are not treated like a partner.

You are treated like property.

A trophy when it’s time to impress.

A distraction when they’re bored.

An inconvenience when your own needs show up.

They don’t want a teammate.

They want control, someone they can put away and pull out only when it suits them.

Try asking to be respected.

Try holding them to their word.

Try setting even one boundary.

Watch how fast they flip.

Because to them, your purpose is to serve their needs and protect their image.

Ask for anything more...

You will suddenly be “the problem.”

“Too emotional.”

“The enemy.”

That is not love.

That is control disguised as commitment.

You are allowed to walk away.

babycham b

I was talked into ''attending'' a burlesque class by my ex therapist [long story] lets just say pretty sure she used me to become a regular member of her class and ''show'' which never happened because she is an alcoholic 

saved by grace

I have many years of mixed-up mental health issues and abuse behind me, and the day I was saved, by Grace from suicide is a day I will never forget. I had been manipulated by a so-called "support worker" who herself has fibromyalgia (which includes brain fog as a symptom), but in my opinion, that is no reason not to apologise and/or take any accountability for basically treating me like a child. She called me her "little sister" and then took over my benefits claim application, putting false information on it which caused me and my family a whole load of problems. This support worker did not want to wait and see if it was truly okay to put this information; nope, she insisted she knew best. Once I was called upon to the benefits office, following the application she had made for me, I found out that it was going to affect a member of my family and the benefits they were claiming. We tried to correct it (and we made it right in the end), but on that day, I felt like I was losing my identity. I felt like I had no control over my life, and others were pulling the strings, and I was just a puppet. So, after a family member tried to stop me from walking out the door, I went. I was walking around very upset. I felt like I had no anchor to this world anymore and that my family and friends would be better off without me. After considering a few places to go (doctors, local pharmacy, but I was worried they would assume I had been drinking/taken drugs), I found myself sat by a busy road considering walking into the traffic, and I prayed for help. After a very short time, two police cars turned up, and as I looked at one of the policemen getting out of the car, I heard a voice clear as day say to me, "I heard you." I burst into tears and told the police everything. I am so grateful to Grace saving me because I could feel myself falling into darkness.

Thank you for taking the time to read. I am sharing this as part of my journey towards healing. 

🙏 🫂 🕊️✝️

Last few days....

Last few days haven't been easy 

I have literally had to walk away from my phone/pc to resist reaching out to you

We have never gone this long since no contact at all

But while it's hard praying for us both is helping 

It's a way for me to reach out to you in a healthy and safe way 

Our paths are no longer intertwined they are very different now 

And I pray everyday that you find a way out of all your past heartbreaks and begin to heal

You so deserve it

You are capable 

I pray faith will find you and you take those steps

It's not easy but by golly it's worth it 

🙏🕊✝️🫂