Narcissists thrive on control, and one of their most powerful tools is your reaction. When you respond—whether with anger, confusion, or guilt—they use it as a distraction. Your emotions become their shield, deflecting accountability and silencing any responsibility for their harmful behaviour. This is no accident; it’s a carefully honed strategy to avoid facing the consequences of their actions.
By provoking you, narcissists keep the focus off themselves and on your responses. Every outburst or defensive reply feeds their need for power, reinforcing their control over the situation. They rarely apologise or admit fault because doing so would mean acknowledging their wrongdoing—a vulnerability they refuse to show.
Understanding this dynamic is crucial. The more you detach from the emotional bait, the less fuel they have to manipulate you. Silence or calm responses disarm their tactics and prevent them from twisting your feelings to justify their actions.
Healing from narcissistic abuse means recognising this cycle and reclaiming your emotional power. You don’t owe them an explanation or a reaction. Your peace is more important than their games.
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