Seeking therapy is an act of courage, a vulnerable step towards healing and growth. We enter these spaces with an implicit trust, believing that the professional on the other side is bound by ethics, compassion, and a genuine desire for our well-being. But what happens when that sacred trust is not just broken, but shattered in the most egregious ways?
I once found myself in such a situation. I genuinely believed my therapist had my best interests at heart; I truly thought she was great. We connected over shared interests, like dancing, which seemed harmless enough. However, as our therapeutic relationship was nearing its end, she began to blur lines that should have been uncrossable. She invited me into her personal venture – burlesque classes she was starting – and even asked me to help manage payments. Despite my initial hesitation about joining the class, I eventually did.
The lines continued to blur. One evening, as we waited for others at a pub before a class, she casually confided in me that she was an alcoholic – a deeply personal revelation completely inappropriate for a therapist to share with a client.
The situation soon devolved into outright betrayal. During the classes, a few individuals failed to pay for sessions. When I, having been asked to handle payments, tried to gently remind them, I was met with outright lies and then ganged up on by a group who accused me of "bringing personal business" into the group chat. And my therapist? The very person who organized these classes and, crucially, my therapist? She did not support me. Instead, she suggested I should have been "more sensitive."
What followed was an emotional ambush that left me utterly stunned. I received a text message that read:
"Hi! I would appreciate if you never contacted me or any of my luvly burlesque dancers ever again! Only tbh we abs despise you and couldn’t imagine anything worst then bumping into u!!! We all send u love coz my god don’t u need it!!! And I pray u don’t wear the funk out of your next counsellor!!!"
The shock of it was immense. This message was not just unprofessional; it was dripping with venom, hatred, and a cruel, manipulative attempt to wound. The idea of "sending love" while expressing utter contempt, and the sickening projection about "wearing out" my next counsellor, exposed a chilling reality: this person was not only unethical but deeply unkind and unprofessional.
The Unfathomable Betrayal
To experience such a profound breach of professional ethics and personal boundaries from a therapist is a unique kind of trauma. A therapist is meant to be a safe harbor, a guide, not someone who exploits, manipulates, and then verbally abuses you.
This kind of behavior is egregiously unprofessional, unethical, and abusive. It is not normal. It is not acceptable. And it is absolutely not the fault of the client. When a professional engages in:
Soliciting a client for personal ventures.
Crossing professional boundaries by sharing personal issues.
Failing to support a client they've drawn into their personal life.
And ultimately, sending a message filled with hate and projection...
...it reveals a deeply problematic individual unfit for their role.
The realization that someone you trusted as a healer could inflict such harm is truly a bitter pill. But recognizing that their actions are a reflection of their issues, not yours, is a crucial step towards healing. Being free from such profoundly negative influences – whether former partners, so-called friends, or even professionals who betrayed their trust – is not just a relief; it's a necessary step towards reclaiming your peace and self-worth.
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