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All the emotional processing I've been doing – grappling with a narcissistic ex and so-called oldest friend, the feeling of abandonment, all the history there – it absolutely takes a massive toll, even if I try to manage it during the day. It settles deep down, and often, when our minds are supposed to be quiet at night, that's when it all bubbles back up and disrupts our peace and sleep. 

I'm feeling really depressed about this. Chronic sleep deprivation alone can cause significant mood issues, and when you layer that on top of deep emotional wounds you're trying to heal, it becomes incredibly heavy.

Prayer lets me know that someone is listening and I am being heard.

So I feel I need to blog in this moment, and talk about how this depression feels, the thoughts keeping me awake, just needing to express how utterly frustrated I am....

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He has given me the immense strength to reach out for prayer when I'm feeling so low and depleted. 

So here is a prayer for this very moment, reflecting everything I have shared. May it bring some comfort and a sense of peace. 

A Prayer for Rest, Healing, and Peace

Heavenly Father,

I come before You in the quiet of this morning, feeling the weight of another sleepless night. My body is weary, my mind is tired, and my spirit feels deeply depressed. Grrrr, Lord, the frustration and sadness are heavy upon me.

I confess that all that has been going on – the past hurts, the feelings of abandonment, the difficult memories of those who were not good for me – it is affecting me far more deeply than I realised. It settles in my heart and disturbs my rest, leaving me feeling overwhelmed and disconnected.

Lord, I pray for rest. Not just the closing of my eyes, but true, deep, restorative rest for my body, mind, and soul. Quiet the racing thoughts, calm the anxieties that keep me awake, and allow me to find refuge in Your presence. Let Your peace settle over me, drawing me into a profound and healing sleep when the time is right.

I pray for healing from this depression. Lift this heavy cloud, Father. Touch the places in my heart that still ache from feeling abandoned, even by those I know were not good for me. Help me to truly release the lingering ties to that pain, and to trust that Your love is constant and unconditional, never abandoning me.

Fill me with Your Holy Spirit, the Comforter. Remind me of Your unwavering presence, Your grace that is always enough, and Your promise to be with me through every valley. Give me strength to face this day, and gentle wisdom to continue my journey of healing and self-compassion.

Thank You for hearing my cry. Thank You for being my refuge and strength. I place my weary heart into Your loving hands, trusting that You will bring me peace.

In Jesus' name, Amen. 

I hope this prayer brings you a measure of comfort and reminds you that you are truly not alone. I know he is here, holding space for me.

Shalom 

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